We kick off with some backstage segments with Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan getting ready for tonight’s big night. Spike Dudley (Brother Runt?) and Tommy Dreamer show up to be Bubba’s grromsmen, and Bubba celebrated by getting Spike a tie dye tux and an extra wide one for Dreamer. Brooke forced the Knockouts to be her bridesmaids, and Tessmacher asks Brooke if her dad’s going to be there, but she’s met with…AWKWARD silence.

Okay, it’s FINALLY time for the wedding. Bubba comes out first, followed by Tommy Dreamer and Brooke Tessmacher, Brother Runt and Mickie James, and Taz and Christy Hemme. The bride comes out next…but will her dad walk her to the ring?

Okay, we’re back and Brooke Hogan comes out of the back, pauses to turn around and see if her dad suddenly materialized behind her, and sure enough he’s here in his tux…and a freakin’ doo rag. Really, Hulk? The bridesmaids all pretend to be really happy for Brooke as she makes her way to the ring/altar. The fans chant for Hulk to shake Bubba’s hand, but he doesn’t do it as the dude performing the ceremony (the word escapes me, which I’m a little embarrassed about since I’m married and all) asks who presents the bride. Hulk says he does, then the marrying guy goes through his spiel as I realize we haven’t seen Aces & Eights once tonight. They exchange vows, and Brooke says Mark came into her life like a burst of light (probably the only time he’s ever been described that way), and she says a bunch of touching stuff and says he loves her. Bubba says he tried to take out a paper and write stuff down, and then he decided she doesn’t deserve words on paper, he deserves words from the heart. He knew from the time he met her that she was the one. She makes him happy and he wants to make her the happiest woman in the world because he freakin’ loves her. The dude asks if anyone objects (you can hear the groans from the crowd), but nobody speaks up. They both do and exchange rings, but Taz interrupts before they’re pronounced man and wife and asks Bubba if he really wants to do this. He then says it’s a little hot in here and takes off his jacket to reveal an Aces & Eights jacket as Aces & Eights runs in and lays out Sting and Hulk, then they hold Bubba so Devon can bash him in the face with the fountain and knock him out. Brooke is in tears as she checks on her dad, who selflessly tells her to check on Bully.

#1 Contenders for the Knockouts Championship Gauntlet Match – Gail Kim vs ODB vs Miss Tessmacher vs Mickie James vs Velvet Sky

Gail Kim is out to the ring for the next match, getting a decent pop from the crowd on her way out. Miss Tessmacher is out next, and she gets a nice pop from the fans in attendance.
Brooke takes Kim out and rains down with right hands. Kim comes back, but ends up in a victory roll for another two count. Brooke takes Kim into the corner and stomps away, but misses a running hip throw. Kim hits a running clothesline that’s good for a two count. Kim brings Brooke through the ropes and drives down all of her weight on Brooke’s back. Kim heads to the top, but Brooke stops her with a kick that sweeps out the legs. Brooke hits a couple of big clotheslines before whipping Kim into the corner. Brooke leaps up into the corner and brings Kim out with a facebuster that’s good enough for two. Kim hits Brooke with Eat defeat and gets the three count.

ODB is the next competitor out to the ring, and Kim charges her on the entrance ramp, but Kim bounces right off ODB. ODB takes a swig from her flask, then brings things into the ring where she hits Kim with a couple of big smacks to the bottom. ODB takes Kim into the corner hard before seating her on the top turnbuckle. ODB drives Kim into the corner, then hits her with a running splash and a bronco buster. Kim tries for a cross body, but ODB catches her and hits a fall away slam, kipping up and shouldering Kim. Kim fights out of it and runs right into a kick to the gut. ODB heads to the top, but she’s pulled to the mat by Kim. Kim rolls up ODB and pulls the tights to get the three count.

Mickie James is out next and Kim catches her with a series of kicks on her way into the ring. James fights right back with a couple of kicks and a bit dropkick that’s good for two. James tries for a DDT, but Kim backs her into the corner and hits a running shoulder block. Kim heads to the apron, but James brings her back into the ring the hard way, hitting a reverse neckbreaker. James blasts Kim with a couple of forearms, then hits a big enzugiri. Mickie drops Kim with a flap jack, then she heads to the apron. Kim rolls to the outside, to Mickie follows, hitting a headscissors and taking Kim down to the floor. Mickie sends Kim back into the ring and she goes to the top, but Kim grabs the ref. James rolls up Kim, but Kim rolls through and is able to hook the tights for another three count.

Velvet Sky is the final competitor out to the ring, and Kim is hiding on the far side of the ring. Kim attacks Sky out of nowhere and takes her out on the floor. Sky is able to make it into the ring before the ten count. Kim puts a knee across Sky’s throat, getting a two count. Kim tries for two more pin attempts, but still can’t keep Sky down for thee. Sky is able to roll up Kim for a two count. Sky sends Kim into the corner, but she’s rolled up by Kim. The ref catches Gail trying to use the ropes to cheat again. Sky hits in your face and pins Kim, but Kim gets her foot under the ropes. The ref counts three, and Sky is proclaimed the winner.

Winner and #1 Contender to the Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky

We go to the back where Robbie E is complaining to someone off camera that first Jersey Shore gets cancelled, then Robbie T shows him up in the Bro Off, and now Tara and Jesse are challenging him to a mixed tag. He wants to know if the mystery person will join up with him, but Brooke Tessmacher suddenly comes into view and says that Robbie disgusts her. Robbie says he’ll do anything, and she says fine, she’ll do it as long as she can tag with a winner (indicating Robbie T). Robbie bros at him as he leaves with Tessmacher.

Tara & Jesse Godderz vs Robbie T & Miss Tessmacher

Jesse tries to cheapshot T, but T no-sells Jesse’s shots and just starts tossing him aruond like a ragdoll. Jesse tags out to Tara, and she slowly comes into the ring as Brooke comes in to take her out with a series of clotheslines and a charging forearm. Brooke mounts Tara in the corner and humps her face, then stinkfaces her in the corner. Tara crawls to the safety of her corner and tags in Jesse, who promptly get chokeslammed into the corner and powerbombed. T covers Jesse and gets an easy win.

Winners: Robbie T & Miss Tessmacher

Robbie T comes in and tells taryn Terrell to get lost so he can raise their hands, but Robie won’t do it…and then Robbie T’s music hits and he starts dancing with Brooke, even doing the butt butt before doing the Dirty Dancing gimmick and planting a big kiss on Tessmacher, who faints because she’s apparently in love. Robbie E’s jaw in on the mat as he stares after Robbie T as he walks to the back.

The Knockouts are backstage, and they’re…STRETCHING! They’ll be in tag team action tonight!

Knockouts Champion Tara & Gail Kim vs Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher

Gail and Tessmacher go at it as we start, with Tessmacher taking Gail out with a flying clothesline and a crossbody. Tara cheapshots Tessmacher from the outside and then tags in so she can grind her eyes across the top rope. That’s cold, man. Tessmacher makes a blind tag and snapmares Tara so Mickie can come charging in with a running knee before dropkicking Gail out to the floor. Tara and Gail try to escape to the floor, but Mickie and Tessmacher go outside and give them a double noggin knocker. Taryn Terrell, being the high end official she is, blocks Tessmacher from coming back inside and pays no attention to Tara and Gail beating Mickie up 2-on-1 as we go to commercial.

We’re back, coincidentally JUST as Mickie takes out both Gail and Tara and makes a hot tag to Tessmacher. Tessmacher comes in and goes nuts on Tara humping her face and setting up for the stinkface before Tara slips out to the floor so Gail can come in and nail Tessmacher from behind. Tara comes back in and blatantly chokes Tessmacher before using a hair Beell. Tessmacher gets double teamed in teh corner while Mickie distracts Terrell, and Gail hits a version of Go To Sleep for 2. Gail hits a running clothesline for 2, but misses a charge and hits the post. Gail falls out to the floor and now Tessmacher is crawling to make a tag, but Gail pulls Mickie off the apron just before Tessmacher gets to her corner. Mickie comes in AGAIN and distracts the referee while Tara tags in with a slingshot legdrop and covers for 2. Looks like Tara accidentally popped her on that one. Tara goes to a surfboard and then tries for the ass-shaking moonsault, but Tessmacher gets her knees up and then bulldogs Tara before finally making it to the corner and tagging in Mickie. Mickie takes Gail out with a Thesz Press and dropkicks Tara to the floor. Mickie with the swinging headscissors out of the corner and gets a neckbreaker for 2. Tessmacher takes Tara out, Tara rolls out to the floor to be comforted by Jesse, but Tessmacher takes them both out with a dive off the top rope. Mickie hits the implant DDT on Gail and gets the win.

Winners: Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher

Gail Kim vs Miss Tessmacher

Gail goes right after Brooke’s arm, but Tessmacher gets a quick jackknife rollup for 2, then dodges a charge in the corner and unloads with forearms and stomps in the corner. Brooke gives Gail a stinkface, then knocks her to the floor when Gail tries to roll to the apron to escape. Brooke rolls her right back in but gets caught with a DDT, then Gail hits a back suplex for 2. Brooke blocks a top rope Frankensteiner and she gets Gail in a hanging Dragon Sleeper on the top rope, then releases Gail and wipes her out with a top rope clothesline for 2. Gail catches Brooke with a boot to the face and whips her to the corner for the charging crossbody. Now Gail rubs her ass in Brooke’s face and goes for another back suplex, but Brooke converts it to a bulldog. Brooke nails Gail with a series of running clotheslines and forearms, then nearly turns Gail inside out with a Frankensteiner. She mounts Gail in the corner and goes “OH YEAH GAIL UH UH UH” while humping her face. What a sense of humor that Brooke has. Brooke hits an inverted bulldog and then goes to the top, but takes so long that I just know whatever she’s going to try won’t work. Indeed, Gail rolls out of the way of Brooke’s top rope elbowdrop and hits Sole Food for the win.

Winner: Gail Kim